Life on the Streets The New York Times

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You have to put in the work to repair the damage and heal those relationships. To make amends, you must do more than just make apologies for your past behavior. Instead, making amends means you apologize for what you’ve done and make it right. Similarly, making living amends means you completely change the way you live and remain committed to that lifestyle. Whenever possible, a direct amend is made face-to-face rather than over the phone or by asking someone else to apologize on your behalf.

  • Unlike other sober living scholarships, your future is in your hands.
  • When held in the bonds of an addiction, it’s not uncommon for many relationships to feel strain, or to fall apart together.
  • Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress.
  • Your donation will provide a scholarship to someone in recovery, supporting them through the first few months of sober living in one of our partner organizations.
  • But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive.

Though he calls her following the argument, she doesn’t answer. Though we would certainly suggest she read some of our other posts on seems like regret and self-forgiveness, we also deeply appreciate the option of a ‘living amends’. Like the definition says, amends is something we do to make up for something we feel guilty for. It is different from an apology, which is “a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure”. An apology doesn’t include an action that attempts to make up or compensate for that wrongdoing.

What Does Step 9 (Making Amends) Have To Do With Sobriety?

Early in my recovery, I learned neither my son nor my husband was listening to anything I said. Generally speaking, people work through the Steps of Alcohol Anonymous with an addiction treatment counselor and/or sponsor. You can also turn to AA’s Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the 12 & 12) for guidance specific to Step 8. If you’re untrustworthy and unreliable, come to terms with those characteristics of yours.

Spice of Life: Making amends, for every woman in the workforce – Hindustan Times

Spice of Life: Making amends, for every woman in the workforce.

Posted: Fri, 20 Oct 2023 07:00:00 GMT [source]

The spiritual purpose of making amends is to find inner peace, freedom, release, and rebirth. While this step involves a direct exchange with another person, its goal has everything to do with healing and addiction recovery on the part of the person making the amends. Say, for example, you’re preparing to living amends make amends to a former coworker, whom you once stole from to pay for drugs. In addition to apologizing and asking for their forgiveness regarding the incident in question, you might offer to repay them in full for the money you stole. For many who lived in addiction, apologizing was a regular habit.

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Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors. For example, someone living with an addiction may make amends by apologizing for stealing property and then make it right by returning what they’d taken. Of all the 12 steps, Step 9 is often referred to as particularly challenging. Understanding why will require taking a closer look at what Step 9 is, its goals, and its possible outcomes. We’ll also include a Step 9 amends letter for anyone who wants to implement this step but isn’t sure how to. New Life House has helped young men stay sober for over 35 years.

We blame ourselves for certain things that happened – sometimes rightfully, and sometimes not. An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took.

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